TRANSVESTIA

patient . . . love is never selfish, not quick to take offence. Love keeps no score of wrongs .. there is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance . . . (I Corinthians 13:4-7, N.E.B. translation)." I resolved to love my wife even more. Somehow I felt that if I could keep going in the strength of love, some day in the years ahead her attitude would change and the way would become clear for a reasonable opportunity to dress occasionally. In the mean- time I determined to follow the best practical advice about transvestism that I could get. the advice from the psychiatrist, and dress as a woman in secret as opportunity permitted. I knew that God understood my turmoil and I felt that under the conditions my clandestine course of action would be justified.

After careful consideration I decided to store my feminine posses- sion in the crawl space under the house, using several cardboard car- tons hidden in among storage crates. My wife never ventured into this dark forbidding place for fear of the spiders and bugs that lived there.

Once or twice a month when my wife was out and the baby asleep I could work an hour or so on my little cache of feminine possessions. Piece by piece I slowly added to the wardrobe and accessories until I had finally gathered a few complete outfits. Curiously, partial dressing had relatively little attraction for me. My goal was to be completely dressed like a normal genetic woman and now at last I could attain this for a few hours each month. It took valuable time to unpack and repack each time, and it was difficult to keep the clothing neatly pressed, but still I was making progress for which I was indeed thankful.

Despite my optimism I soon realized that simply throwing on an outfit of feminine clothes and sitting in hiding for an hour or so was not as satisfying as I had hoped. Renewed hints to my wife about needing an opportunity to dress in the privacy of our home met with a negative response so gradually and prayerfully I tried to find new ways that would provide me greater fulfillment in the feminine role, still within the guidelines of not emotionally injuring her.

Slowly the idea came to me to use each opportunity to not only dress but also to develop the social attributes that a woman must have: poise, mannerisms, walk and the like. I felt that someday in the distant future my wife would allow me at least a minimal life as a

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